Kansas Voters Have Me Questioning My Career Choices
Jessica Fulk’s Midnight Meltdown
From “What Just Happened?” to “Is Crestwood Even Real Anymore?”: My Sleep-Deprived Election Thoughts
[Sound of deep sigh] It’s… I don’t even know what time it is. Jessica here. Again. Can’t sleep. Elections. Real estate. My brain’s a mess.
Neighborhoods I Used to Understand
Okay, so Roanoke. What… what even is that place now? It’s like… you know when you think you know a place and then bam! Elections happen. Now what? Are people gonna start fighting over houses there? With, like, jousting sticks or something? I don’t even know anymore. And then there’s… [paper rustling] oh yeah, Westport. Good ol’ Westport. Or is it? Is anything good and old anymore? Politics, man. Messing with my favorite places to grab a drink after showing seventy-three houses in one day.
Artsy Areas and Fancy Pants Places
Don’t even get me started on Crossroads Arts District. More like Crossroads of My Sanity district. Are property values going up? Down? Sideways? I feel like I need a crystal ball and a degree in political science to figure this out. Oh, and Quality Hill. Ha! Quality. Is anything quality after this election? Maybe the quality of my headaches. Those are top-notch right now.
Why Did I Choose Real Estate Again?
[Sound of can opening] Is this coffee or wine? Eh, bottoms up. Seriously, though. What am I supposed to tell clients now? “Hey, want to buy a house? No idea what it’ll be worth next week because… politics!” Yeah, that’ll go over well. If you need me, I’ll be… actually, no. Don’t need me. I’m not here. I’m in an alternate universe where elections don’t make me question every real estate decision I’ve ever made. I should sleep. Or study political science. Or just… I don’t know… scream into a pillow for a while. Is it too late to become a professional dog walker? Probably less stressful than this. Dogs don’t vote, right? Right?? [Muffled thud, possibly head hitting desk]
